My mother-in-law (really, my second mother) often tells the story of my gorgeous sister-in-law Kim(really, my fourth sister) trying to decide what she wanted to be when she grew up. She couldn't just pick one thing, and that's where the term 'fireman-ballerina' came from - wanting to be everything, deciding on nothing.
I've quit Avon and today is my first Avon-free day. I've spent some time thinking about what I wanted to be now that I'm not selling lipstick and bubble bath or answering zillions of website questions.
Obviously, I want to write more. My brain is happiest writing - words, descriptions, characters, and details make up the narrative in my head all day long.
I want to blog more. This place is my place and I want to share more of me with you. I want this to be a consistent part of my life.
I want to make more homemade gifts. Preserves, cookies, treats, homemade meals. Crocheted baby blankets, booties, hats, and dishcloths for the newly married. I want the cards that go with the gifts to be equally as beautiful, with delicate ribbons, stamps and punched-out paper. I want to be crafty. I want to crochet. I want to knit. I want to be Martha Stewart without the jail time and creepy calm voice.
I want to be the best mother ever. I want to spend quality time with my girls, helping them play and make memories. I want to have energy and patience for their antics and growth. I want to yell less and turn the tv off more.
I want to be a good friend and wife. Be there for those who need me, go the distance, talk for hours, be intimate in shared details and the mopping of tears.
I want to be a better housekeeper, where my house may not be clean, but tidy, not perfect, but not one step from a hoarders episode.
I want to read book after book after book, filling my head with other's art and stories, examining craft and stealing away to other places far from my reality.
I want to run. I can't right now because of my giant belly, fear, and cramping, but I want to in the future. I want to commit and be a runner for the rest of my life. I want my girls to look at me and know that being fit is a lifestyle, not a self-esteem barragement where one is simply trying to fix a finite problem. I want them to be inspired to be healthy and take care of themselves.
In short, I want to be a fireman-ballerina, jack of all trades, master of none, complete with time off for rest, naps, and having this baby.
Not too much to aspire to, right?