5.29.2010

Compromise

Some days I think about the compromises I made that got me to where I am and who I am today.

I'm not talking huge, life-altering compromises, but small, significant ones that looking back now I wonder - if I didn't make those, where would I be? Who would I be?

Where would I be if I didn't have to compromise a chance to live abroad simply because my sisters wouldn't also be given such an opportunity?

Where would I be if I wasn't busy compromising my pay cheque to keep my family afloat and I could have picked any school in the world instead of the school in my backyard?

Who would I be if I didn't compromise my deepest passions in order to be the perfect daughter?

What would my life look like if I didn't compromise risk and adventure for stability and a family?

I don't regret the choices I made (or in some cases that were made for me) - how can I without regretting every moment I get to spend with my husband and daughter, both of whom are my entire world?

But some days, the compromises are felt more than others...and the questions swirl...and all of the moments where a choice was given and decided become too hard to bear...

And I think - what Julia would I be if it weren't for all of the compromises I've had to make?