In my life I've always worked very hard to do things right, in the right order.
Learn how to drive with a driving school, then get my full licence.
Go to high school and then, without skipping a beat, go to university.
Take paid internships in university to ensure I don't go into too much debt from my schooling, while gaining valuable experience.
Graduate then get married.
Get married then have sex (yes, me and Jessica Simpson...).
I've recently realized, though, that in my quest to abide by my parents' and my church's, and society's rules, I've painted myself into corner.
My friends and family are scared of talking to me about what they did differently or wrong because they're afraid of what I'll think.
And on the one hand it's nice to know that I firmly live and breathe my values everyday and that they are aware of them that much.
But on the other hand, it means that I'm not approachable. Not at all.
I've had friends get divorced and not tell me. I've had siblings take months to break the news to me that they didn't wait. And I've had in-laws not want me to know what they've been up to.
And all because I might look poorly on them.
What does that really mean, though? That they respect me enough not to want to disappoint me, or does it mean that they think I'm a stuck-up kid who would judge anything that walks by?
The high road is quickly becoming a lonely place, where I don't understand and never will understand those who made diffferent decisions, and, beyond that, I'll only judge instead of listening and supporting.
The trouble is that is NOT me. I'm not that person. I'm the person that works hard to understand, to be the perfect friend.
Apparently, though, perfection has its cost too - everyone else.